a love story as told to me

I hurt him. I hurt him twice over. I, who said I love him and will love him forever.

We promised each other to stand by each other through thick and thin. We agreed to stand before God and before our family and friends and declare our Love for each other.  We were happy and so were the people around us. We saw the  world through rose-colored glass. Our life was ahead of us. We had it all planned out. All we had to do was show up on the appointed day.

But I didn’t fulfill my part. I was weak, I backed out. Another Guy came into the picture and I disregarded my promise to the one I love, the one I First Loved. Suddenly, I didn’t know who I really love. Suddenly, I didn’t know what love really is.

Just like that, my world took a different turn as I shared my rose-colored world to Another Guy. In the arms of Another Guy, I felt safe but not at peace.  I felt loved but only because I didn’t know what Love is anymore. For he who taught me how to love, he whom I First Loved hated me. He who said my smile brightened up his day. He who said his life will crumble down if I weren’t by his side. He who said he loved me then, hated me now.

But not for long, for he wooed me again. And I took him back, only to dump him again when Another Guy came back into the picture. But when I saw the pain in the face of him whom I First Love, Guilt set in and Joy left me. My world was in shambles. Another Guy left me but I chose to search for Love and Joy but it evaded me.

After a long search, Love found me again and I understood what Love really is. Then I realized that he whom I First Loved is he whom I Truly Love. And the Joy I was looking for is with and in him. But with our history, I couldn’t get myself to even go near him anymore. I do not even know what has become of he whom I First Loved.

But I do not want to hurt him again, the third time, should I count. So I decided for his sake to leave him be. And find Love and Joy somewhere else.

***

I found Love and Joy in her whom I loved, cherished and adored. I promised to love her and she promised to love me too. We watched the sun rise and set together and we couldn’t get enough of it. We watched the stars and the moon together and I couldn’t help but think how jealous they must’ve been of us.

I was elated and my heart cannot contain my Joy. My Joy turned to Fear when my Imagination teased me and insinuated that I may lose her. The very thought scared me at my wits end. No matter how I tried to hold it back, my Fear got a hold of me. I don’t know when that day came and Another Guy took her from me. But I saw her eyes, she went freely.

I thought my world will end without her. I cried to the Heavens to bring her back to me.

What about the plans we made together while we watched the skies? What about her promise of love? I must remind her. I must remind her of the happy days we had, of the promises and plans we made.

And it worked! She came back and together we held hands but we weren’t the same. I found her kisses cold. So when Another Guy came swooping in again, I just let her go, her that I Once Loved.

I thought I'd walk the streets with a heavy heart. I thought my world would crumble down right in front of me. But surprisingly, Love and Joy didn’t leave me. For I had it in my heart all along. Long before I met her, her that I Once Loved.

But  I wasn’t content with just Love and Joy. I wanted more, I wanted Great Love and Great Joy and so I went searching. Until I found both in another girl, in her, whom I Truly Love.