excerpt from The Amazing Adventures of Sandy and her dog Dodo
My Unique and Incredible Talent
Sept 2011
If someone asks what talent I have that I can say is uniquely
mine, say at the Miss Universe pageant, I’d say it’s holding my pee for about
3-5 hours. (I haven’t met anybody who can hold theirs for that long. Or, maybe
because I don’t ask. It’s not something you regularly ask people, even friends, right?)
It’s an incredible talent too, I should say.
This talent of mine comes in handy when when there’s a long queue at the public toilet, when I’m stuck in traffic, when I’m in a tensed meeting
and the boss is angry and is giving a long monologue so no one can leave the
room unless the building is on fire or you need to bring someone to the
hospital. Or, when I’m in the office working and I’m too lazy to get up and do
it, especially when my shirt is tucked or when I’m wearing a jumpsuit and I’ve
to put so much effort to put it back. Or when I prefer to do it at home because
I’m just being lazy, period.
I have an aunt who got in a very embarrassing situation because
unlike me, she wasn’t blessed with this useful talent. Back in her college
days, she and her classmates went on a school out of town trip. On their way back to
Manila, somewhere in Batangas, she had to pee. They were in the middle of
nowhere but she had no choice, she really couldn’t hold it anymore. Red-faced,
she approached her teacher and told her of her predicament. The teacher told
the driver to stop the bus and as soon as the door opened, my aunt sprang out
of the bus and ran into the cogon grass by the roadside. Her classmates watched
as she sat there partly hidden by the blades of grass. My dad likes telling the
story during family gatherings, much to my aunt’s embarrassment.
Anyway, back to me. This is afterall, my story. Because I prefer peeing at home, I am
usually get home hurrying up to my apartment. A few times, because I couldn’t hold it
much longer, I’ve used the ground floor lobby rest room several times and even the one at
the MRT station near where I live.
One night, the most unfortunate thing happened to me. You see, I
have a crush on this guy who lives just one floor below mine. From my balcony, even from my window, I can see his unit. I can see him, mostly
shirtless, working on his laptop because his balcony door is always open much
to my delight. I don’t know his name I just call him, my boyfriend who doesn’t
know me or Mine, for short. When I get home from school, I open my balcony door to check if Mine is home.
When I wake up in the morning, first thing I do is check if Mine is there at
his spot and he usually is. What's this fixation on his laptop? Doesn't he go to school? Or work, maybe? Maybe he works from home? I don't know. I haven’t ever, in our 5 months
“relationship,” bumped into Mine at the lobby, elevator, cafeteria, or
elsewhere. He’s almost always home and on that same spot. Sometimes, he gazes up my way and catches me staring at him, I pretend talking to my plants. Now, he probably thinks I'm a cuckoo.
And then, one night, I see Mine at the lobby waving at me!
Unbelievable! I couldn’t believe my eyes! I had mixed emotions. I was surprised
and ecstatic, at the same time. My dream scene of how we will meet is finally
happening. I was inside the elevator and I couldn’t also believe that of all the days, this was one of
those days I held my pee for
a long while, so I had to run up to my toilet or risk making a scene and
flood the lobby floor with you know what. Not a lovely sight.
Mine was wearing a nice blue shirt that fateful night. Did I say he was waving? At me? So, what’s a girl to do? I waved back, of course. I wanted to say, I’d really love to chat but I
can’t stay I really have to go. As the elevator door closed between us, I think
I heard him say, wait. Gosh, he really wanted to have a chat! I thought to
myself, of all the days! It had to be tonight.
Missed opportunity!
And then, it hit me. Mine wasn’t waving at me to introduce himself
or have a chat with me. Oh, shooooot! Of course, he just wanted to get in and
ride the elevator! And did I say, I waved back? How embarrassing! I hope he never sees me again.
And that’s the end of the possibility of our one-way love affair
of ever flourishing. And why? The other day, I found out he’s moved out already.
Boo-hoo!
