What Are You Afraid Of?

I was once asked what I am afraid of. And while I am afraid of a things like snakes and rats (and despise them a lot!!!), my answer shocked me and so did the one who asked me. I told him, I'm afraid I'm not creative enough and pretty soon, I'll run out of ideas to write about and just. He didn't look or sound bothered, he actually almost laughed. He probably thought, it was an original answer. Or that it was petty. Or that I was trying to be witty. But the truth is, I gave an honest answer.

And that fear I have not yet conquered. After finishing and selling my first novelette in less than a week after almost a month's preparation, I later zealously (at times) wrote my first real novel. I say preparation because I was actually writing a novel, I joined Nanowrimo and the target is 50,000 words. By the time I had 30,000 words and cannot proceed any further, my magazine editor said, she only needed 10,000+ words. I was both relieved and worried for the same reason. I was relieved I didn't have to think of new twists and details, I could just end the story right then. I was worried I had to cut it short and take out some twists and details and end it right then. I had fun, though. I just let my characters lead the way.

But during and after producing the novel, I was afraid I would run out of ideas to write about later - interesting stories and plots. And I won't last long and won't have new material for my next ones, unlike one of my favorite writers Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who seemed to be overflowing with creative juices. 

And so I like devouring books on creativity, such as Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon and Do You Think You're Creative by my friend Apple Cruda, and internet articles telling you how to be ingenious. Or listening to motivational talks and grad speeches of David Foster Wallace (This is Water), Steve Jobs and the like. Sometimes, I just watch foreign films with subtitles. It opens my eyes to new things teaching me to see the ordinary thru the point of view of others.

But while there are plenty of sources of good ideas, finding the right one can be difficult such that you have to sift thru to find a material you'd like to use, something that fits you just right. I won't say original because nothing is original in this world unless you can't tell where it came from. That statement is not original, I stole that from Austin Kleon. 

On second thought, maybe it is good to have this fear so that I do not become complacent. Its good and positive effect on me is that it's driving me to hunger for new ideas, to always search for inspiration and keep my mind working, thinking, daydreaming, creating, writing, blogging, thinking, working, creating, which makes us human and alive. I wonder who said that before me. Because I don't know, I will claim to be originally mine. 

How about you? What are you afraid of? And what are you doing about it?

MY BUCKET LIST FOR 2014

     

Dear Friends, I am posting my bucket list for 2014 in the hope of finding people to do it with. You might want to do with me. Let me know!

These are things I'm doing for the first time. And I'm putting a deadline to be more efficient & productive. ;p

1. Play the violin in front of an audience. (This is a real challenge because first, I have to start playing. I haven't played in years. But more challenging is how I can manage not to embarrass myself doing this.) 

Or sing before an audience by myself. (I realized I've sung many a times before an audience with a choir including a concert at the UP Theater way back my college days. I don't know which is more manageable, singing by myself or playing the violin.)

2. Visit Batanes, Simala in Cebu, which has a beautiful basilica, Pagudpud in Ilocos Norte, Sagada, Mt. Pinatubo, Corregidor Island, Baler, or any place I haven't been to in the country.

3. Publish my first book. (Note to self: Oh please, just self-publish!)

4. Give my one month salary to charity. (Am not sure if I can do this. Haha!)

5. Attend a wedding by myself. (This could be for my January. My good friends Mike and Angel are getting married.) Done!

6. Go paintballing. (Friends, let's!)

7. Go to Paris! Or any city I haven't been to outside the country.

8. Join a painting exhibit. (How? Help!)

9. Visit Malacanang Palace. (Why haven't I been there before?)  Done!

10. Ride a boat on Taal Lake. 

11. Ride a horse. (This should be easy. I rode my lolo's carabao when I was little. I just want people to know ;p)

12. Go skating. (Rollerskates, iceskating, I haven't tried any. I have my eyes on MOA's skating rink, right now.)

13. Do a Visita Iglesia. 

14. Attend Pahiyas Festival in Lucban, Sinulog in Cebu, or any festival in the country, which I haven't been to before. 

15. Attend Hillsong Conference in Australia. (I'd really want to do this. I seriously doubt if I can to do this year but I am writing it down anyway. Who knows?!)

16. Join the pilgrimage to Israel. (See comment on #15.)

17. Go to Japan to see the cherry blossoms and try their sushi and sashimi. (Again, see comment #15.)

That's all I could think of right now. I also encourage you to write down yours and let's compare. It'll be fun. I may want to do one of yours, and we can do it together. Or I'd be some braggart and say, done that! ;p

I SURVIVED A 10-HOUR BUS RIDE!

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I left Manila. I just got back this morning and my first agenda was to sleep. I deserved it. I had a long bus trip, 10 hours seated uncomfortably and trying hard not to fall asleep lest I fall off my seat, literally. The bus was packed, I was seated on a plastic chair. And to think that we traversed thru mountains, which meant zigzag roads. The joy of commuting! Not!

At least, I got a ride. I'm still lucky. I saw a lot of people on the road unable to hitch a ride back. Thanks to my brother, sister-in-law & niece who drove me to the bus terminal and patiently waited with me.

I'm glad for this experience, now I can say I survived 10-hour bus ride. And it wasn't your regular bus ride. It was a night trip, I had to sit on a plastic stool with the driver on my left and the conductor on my right. How 3rd world!

You see, there were no seats available, all were reserved days before and tomorrow being first day of classes after the holiday, everybody's trying to get back to the city. These are the times I wish I had a car. But come to think of it, even if I did, I don't think I'd drive up there. So that should be, I wish I had a driver.

Anyway, next time, I'd like to try riding a jeepney. But I want to sit on top of the jeep and feel the wind on my face. Including dust. Apparently, it's the norm in Catanduanes. Can't wait!

Going back to my adventure last night, I had the best view because I was in the front middle of the bus. Well, I didn't get to see much of the countryside actually because it was either black or pitch black. But the sky made up for it, the stars shone brightly in some areas. But the best part, I saw a shooting star!

READY FOR 2014

Inspired by Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project book, my friend Donch’s birthday gift to me, which I only got to read during the Christmas holiday, I am blogging about my goals and resolutions for 2014. I actually did the same thing last year but after noting that only a few of my 13 resolutions for 2013 materialized, I need to do this differently this time.

Following Gretchen’s example, I will assign a goal/resolution to a certain month. And after reading the book, I realized why I wasn't very successful with my goals and resolutions. The most obvious reason is I wrote it down in January 2013 and forgot about it. I didn't go thru the list again to remind myself what I'm supposed to work on. I also didn't keep track of my  progress or results.Then the year just flew by.

Writing it down is good but I should also be checking my progress regularly to attain better results. Also, by assigning just a few goals on a certain timeline, I get to focus on it and it becomes manageable. Like cutting it into bite sizes.And I have to confess, some of my previous year's plans were too ambitious, not logistically and financially possible. Though at the same time, I also do believe in just putting it out there in the universe and letting the heaven and the stars conspire to make it happen. 

So, for January,  I've decided that this will be about promoting good health, vitality and good disposition. Thus, I will do the ff:

1. See my doctor for my annual breast check-up/ultrasound and for another reason which I won’t write down here anymore. I need to see a heart doctor too. It’s been 10 years since I was diagnosed with MVP or Mitral Valve Prolapse and lately, I experienced more frequent palpitations and heart burn.

2. Exercise. The mere mention zaps my energy. I just do some stretches and breathing exercises in the morning when I remember it. I used to like jogging. But the last time I did was months ago. I even ran marathons before. I really have to find time to do some exercises religiously or at least 4x a week.

3. Maintain my current diet, which consists of at least 8 glasses of water, daily intake of fruits and veggies in generous amount and few slices of meat. I also make sure I don’t leave the house without having eaten a banana, sandwich or cereals, at least.

4. Re-introduce vitamins into my system particularly- C, E, B complex, iron. I also want to try a supplement for the eyes.

5. Get 8 hours of sleep. To do this, I have to sleep at 10 pm and wake up at 6 am. I don’t know if I can actually do this. While writing this, I have doubts if I can get things done with too much sleep. I normally sleep between 11:30 pm to 1 am and wake up between 6 and 7 am. And still, I never got to write as many stories or complete a novel as I wanted. Anyway, let’s give it a try.

6. Smiling as a way of life. As part of my resolution to being loving and kind, I figured this action will improve my mood for the day and help me to be more loving and kind. Back in November, I resolved to smile and greet people I meet in my building esp. when I ride the elevator with them but I frequently forgot to do so. Sometimes, embarrassment got the better of me. I hope I do better this year.

      For each month, I’d like to do something I haven’t done in my whole life. My bucket list for 2014:

1. Play the violin in front of an audience.

2. Visit Batanes or any place I haven't been to in the country.

3. Publish my first book. 

4. Give my one month salary to charity. (Am not sure if I can do this. Haha!)

5. Attend a wedding by myself. (This could be for my January. My good friends Mike and Angel are getting married.)

6. Go paintballing.

7. Go to Paris or any city I haven't been to outside the country.

8. Join a painting exhibit. (How? Help!) 

9. Visit Malacanang. (Why haven't I been there before?)

10. Ride a boat on Taal Lake. 

11. Ride a horse. 

12. Go skating.

13. Do a Visita Iglesia.

14. Attend Pahiyas Festival in Lucban or any festival in the country.

I'm excited and I already have people in mind to do these things with. Anybody interested? Let me know. Let's do it together. ;p

20 THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR FOR 2013

2013 is almost over and I can’t wait for 2014 to begin. But before I start planning for my resolutions and goals for the New Year, let me just recap and see how good the current year is for me.

the things that went well for me in 2013:

1.  I got to bring my family (minus my brother; plus my soon-to-be-brother-in-law) to that beautiful place on top of the mountain called Monasterio de Tarlac, where a relic of the Cross of Jesus is kept and His magnificent statue stands.

2. I finally enrolled in a French class in UP Diliman and learned how to say, Je m’appelle Sachi. I also passed the evaluation test and I can attend French 2 already.

3. I continued to attend our bible study every Wednesdays. Our 3^rd and last module will end in January. But come February, there’s another weekly spiritual event that I signed up for.

(My primary goal in this endeavor was for me to get to know God more and to have a more intimate relationship with Him. I also hoped I'd be more loving and kind but this part has not been easy. But, I also learned to be more forgiving and patient with myself so I am taking things slow and giving myself time to learn and progress. I am glad I have my friend, Michi, who is also a colleague who is constantly observing me and my actions towards other people and she calls my attention when I am being mean to her and others.)

4. In my quest to have a balanced life, I needed to have a healthy soul so apart from the weekly bible sessions, I also joined a whole day retreat at the peaceful greenery of Sacred Heart Novitiate, where I felt God’s immense love for me, strange as it is, through the rustling leaves, swaying branches as the wind moved by. I hope that I shall not forget that day.

5.  If anything, I managed to start my day with a prayer, scripture reading and spiritual journal. Thanks to Joy’s gift last Christmas- Companion, as my guide. Maybe I have missed a few days. But those are very few, like only 10 out of 365 days.

6. I was part of a political campaign during the national elections. I like that sort of thing. Unfortunately, I was part of the boring team preparing briefers. I only got to join campaign rallies thrice and part of the backstaff for 1 tv and 2 radio interviews. Back in my province, I organized a small sortie of sorts to give away flyers for a day, which included my nephews aged 4 and 7. They were so thrilled!

7. So glad my boss won a seat in public office and that he kept me as one of his staff. I wish I got to explain this clearly to our chief of staff. He took it to mean I was happy to be part of that public office.  There’s a difference. 

8. I made new friends during the campaign and with some new people in the office. I am thankful for them. I have a lot to learn from them about humility, being pleasant and good-natured.

9. My parents and I visited Bangkok and we had a good time eating tom yum and pad thai.  

 10.  I swam with whalesharks!!! Also called butanding. (This will go in my book as one of the highlights of my life along with surfing in Bali back in 2012.)

11. On financial matters, I managed to attend 1 financial seminar. I got my money back from someone who swindled me. Little by little, I was able to grow my investment in the stock market thru Citiseconline and mutual funds. By November, I got approved for a lower interest on my real estate property, thus lower monthly payment so I have more to put into my monthly investment scheme.

12. I didn’t die! I could have drowned while swimming as the current surreptitiously brought me to the deep end when my friends and I went on an expedition to Sumilon in Cebu but by God’s mercy, I didn’t. My friends, Rhei and Jinj and a well-meaning hotel guest, Joseph managed to keep me calm and most importantly, afloat while waiting for year for the lifeguard to rescue me/us from the sea.

13.  I celebrated my 40^th birthday for a cause at a home for women in crisis with dear friends. Special thanks to my good old friend Monique and her husband Arnold for the help.

14. I felt like an angel when I was able to give our parish priest and 2 parishioners tickets to Kerygma Conference in November. I know fully well how much Fr. Ralphie wants to hear Bo Sanchez livethe moment I had those spare tickets, I asked my mom to invite him.

15. I was gifted with 4 books this year, 2 of which are – Bo Sanchez’s Abundance Formula from a newfound friend Tita Pat, and Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project from my good old friend Donch.

16. I am more positive in my outlook in life than in the previous years. I think I am more forgiving, lighthearted, easygoing and happier now.

17. I am glad that an opportunity to help the fashion industry opened up for me and while having coffee with old friends, some ideas were floated for us to start some business on the side. I hope something good comes out of it. That’s all I’m going to say for now. Will write about it when something has materialized.

18. I love getting a massage and this year, my friends and I made 3 new spa discoveries: Nuat Thai along Sct. Limbaga and Ahavia Lounge Spa along Sct. Torillo; and Blue Water Day Spa at Capitol Hills (for special occasions only. Unlike the first 2, Blue Water is a bit expensive for me.) Instantly, they became our favorites. I love Blue Water's mini-theater room where you get to watch a movie while getting a massage, complete with popcorn and iced tea. 

19. I was so lucky to be at Megamall this month when Fr. Joey Faller held a healing mass at the chapel on its 5th floor. Talk about being at the right place at the right time! I also got to go to a confession in time for Christmas and got the opportunity to receive the gift of glitters from Mama Mary. But unlike my seatmate, a kind elderly woman who showed me the glitter on her palm, I didn't get any (Fr. Joey said, we can all pray and ask for it anytime.) but just the same, I was just happy to be there feeling God's presence in my quivering heart (the good kind).

20. Our family’s answered prayer for my brother and his wife - a little darling angel of a daughter - our greatest blessing!

      With all these, I couldn't thank God more. Here's looking forward for more of His best for me and my family this coming 2014!
     
      How about you? What are you most grateful for for 2013? Tell me about it. Happy New Year everyone!

A Day in the (College) Life of Sandy

excerpt from The Amazing Adventures of Sandy and her dog Dodo

My Unique and Incredible Talent
Sept 2011

If someone asks what talent I have that I can say is uniquely mine, say at the Miss Universe pageant, I’d say it’s holding my pee for about 3-5 hours. (I haven’t met anybody who can hold theirs for that long. Or, maybe because I don’t ask. It’s not something you regularly ask people, even friends, right?) It’s an incredible talent too, I should say.

This talent of mine comes in handy when when there’s a long queue at the public toilet, when I’m stuck in traffic, when I’m in a tensed meeting and the boss is angry and is giving a long monologue so no one can leave the room unless the building is on fire or you need to bring someone to the hospital. Or, when I’m in the office working and I’m too lazy to get up and do it, especially when my shirt is tucked or when I’m wearing a jumpsuit and I’ve to put so much effort to put it back. Or when I prefer to do it at home because I’m just being lazy, period.

I have an aunt who got in a very embarrassing situation because unlike me, she wasn’t blessed with this useful talent. Back in her college days, she and her classmates went on a school out of town trip. On their way back to Manila, somewhere in Batangas, she had to pee. They were in the middle of nowhere but she had no choice, she really couldn’t hold it anymore. Red-faced, she approached her teacher and told her of her predicament. The teacher told the driver to stop the bus and as soon as the door opened, my aunt sprang out of the bus and ran into the cogon grass by the roadside. Her classmates watched as she sat there partly hidden by the blades of grass. My dad likes telling the story during family gatherings, much to my aunt’s embarrassment.

Anyway, back to me. This is afterall, my story.  Because I prefer peeing at home, I am usually get home hurrying up to my apartment. A few times, because I couldn’t hold it much longer, I’ve used the ground floor lobby rest room several times and even the one at the MRT station near where I live. 

One night, the most unfortunate thing happened to me. You see, I have a crush on this guy who lives just one floor below mine. From my balcony, even from my window, I can see his unit. I can see him, mostly shirtless, working on his laptop because his balcony door is always open much to my delight. I don’t know his name I just call him, my boyfriend who doesn’t know me or Mine, for short. When I get home from school, I open my balcony door to check if Mine is home. When I wake up in the morning, first thing I do is check if Mine is there at his spot and he usually is. What's this fixation on his laptop? Doesn't he go to school? Or work, maybe? Maybe he works from home? I don't know. I haven’t ever, in our 5 months “relationship,” bumped into Mine at the lobby, elevator, cafeteria, or elsewhere. He’s almost always home and on that same spot. Sometimes, he gazes up my way and catches me staring at him, I pretend talking to my plants. Now, he probably thinks I'm a cuckoo.

And then, one night, I see Mine at the lobby waving at me! Unbelievable! I couldn’t believe my eyes! I had mixed emotions. I was surprised and ecstatic, at the same time. My dream scene of how we will meet is finally happening. I was inside the elevator and I couldn’t also believe that of all the days, this was one of those days I held my pee for a long while, so I had to run up to my toilet or risk making a scene and flood the lobby floor with you know what. Not a lovely sight.

Mine was wearing a nice blue shirt that fateful night. Did I say he was waving? At me? So, what’s a girl to do? I waved back, of course. I wanted to say, I’d really love to chat but I can’t stay I really have to go. As the elevator door closed between us, I think I heard him say, wait. Gosh, he really wanted to have a chat! I thought to myself, of all the days! It had to be tonight. Missed opportunity!

And then, it hit me. Mine wasn’t waving at me to introduce himself or have a chat with me. Oh, shooooot! Of course, he just wanted to get in and ride the elevator! And did I say, I waved back? How embarrassing! I hope he never sees me again.

And that’s the end of the possibility of our one-way love affair of ever flourishing. And why? The other day, I found out he’s moved out already. Boo-hoo!

13 goals for 2013

new year, new dress, new shoes, new hair, new look but best of all, new goals!
have you written yours? here's mine, you can copy if you like. 

1. blog once a month

                I have to blog once a month, period.

2. write 12 short stories and 1 novel

                I’m thinking I’d write 1 short story a month and the novel I’d write during Nanowrimo, that’s November. I have to write to get better at writing, at churning out stories.

3. visit new york and phuket

                There are other places esp. local ones that i want to go to like the elusive Batanes trip that I’ve been planning with Rhei for n years now, but these 2 are a must.( A must also is to travel with my mom and dad but I haven’t really decided where. Maybe El Nido, Bangkok, Dubai so we can visit my sister there, or  Singapore again.)

                I’m intrigued with Phuket. Is it really as beautiful as many are saying? Can it compare with our beloved Boracay? I have to see for myself in June.

                New York is a longtime dream. Back when I was just finished my CT course in UP and like some classmates who went to Fashion Inst of Tech after, I too, wanted to take the diploma course. But the dream soon died when I learned how expensive it was. So, why not drop FIT and just go to NY? When I worked at VanHeusen, I thought the company would send me for a business trip like the other managers who went to the VH  HQ at NY. Apparently, I was only destined to go to HK, Bangkok and Bangalore. I was regularly at HK and Bangkok for meetings, exhibitions and fashion shows, what more can I ask for. But this year, my dream will soon come true, come 3^rd quarter of 2013. Thanks to my good old friend, Jane!

4. go on a pilgrimage to israel and rome

                Just today, I reminded my friend, Violet,  who has a travel agency of her promise to organize a pilgrimage to the Holy Land and Vatican City that’s cheaper than what’s in the market. I’m thinking Oct.

5. read the bible

Aside from the benefits of understanding life and how to go about it thru the Bible, as a Catholic, and as one who went to a Catholic school from kinder to high school, it’s a shame that I haven’t read the Bible from cover to cover till now. I have read a lot of books and stories being an avid reader – The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Les Miserables, One Hundred Years of Solitude (more than twice from cover to cover; more than 5x without finishing) and other titles of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, To Kill a Mocking Bird (twice), Catcher in the Rye (about 10x), classics like Noli and El Fili, Jane Eyre’s etc, even the Shopaholic series among many other titles.

            I am glad I joined Bible Timeline, a bible study last year which will end in Feb because it is helping me understand what I am reading in the Bible.

6. read one chapter of proverbs a day every day of the year

                A few years back when I was reading books on finances, I came across this book that said one of the richest man ever alive is King Solomon. So it’s worth getting in his head and understand his frame of mind to get rich ourselves. He advised to read Proverbs in the Bible which was written by King Solomon himself. He said to read one chapter a day. The chapter of the day should correspond to the date of the month; there are 31 chapters in Proverbs. It should be done every day with reflection for 2 years. The goal of the exercise is to imbibe the teachings in one’s heart and mind and the riches will follow; opportunities will open up. I remember doing it in 2010 and a lot of opportunities sprang up unexpectedly, including sales in real estate, consultancy work and my current job.

But stopped in the middle of Jan 2011, which means, I am 1 year short. This year, I will fill in half of the requirement. So, I am expecting an avalanche of wonderful blessings and opportunities to come my way this year. 

            The author said he did the same and became a millionaire. He even coached another guy to do the same and his student also became one.  I’m next.

7. learn spanish

                My friend Ginger and I agreed to enroll in a Spanish class in June. We have to attend together so that we have each other to talk to and practice with later. It’s a long time dream to learn Spanish. When I was a kid taking my summer vacations , I loved reading. Left with no choice but to read about Rizal- his life and works, as the others were Algebra, Calculus and Management books, I later loved it. And he taught me to love my country. Because I loved Rizal so much, as early as then, I wanted to learn Spanish so I could read Noli and El Fili in the original text it was written. So, you bet one of goals in 2014 is to read and understand the 2 novels that rocked the country in 1896. I’m excited!

8. attend financial and writing seminars

I’d like to invest more this year in stocks so I’ve to sharpen my  financial skills and get connected and mingle with people who are in the know. There’s one in Feb that I’m planning to attend. Check out www.personalfinance.ph if interested.

I’d like to sharpen my writing skills so I could write more interesting and exciting stories.

9. drive my own car

I took driving lessons last year before my license expired. I realized it’s not easy to drive but I still want to drive. I don’t know how I will get me a brand new red automatic car, all I know is I want one so I am sending this message to the universe and let it work on it.

10. sing in front of an audience

                I know I can sing. As proof, I was a choir member at UP Chapel Choir and at another time at my former office. Even back in my grade school days, I liked singing church songs. I remember singing them with my siblings at night, especially during brownout. Even now, I like singing at church on my seat.

                Back in the late 90’s, before I graduated from college, I was fortunate to have been part of the UP Chapel Choir. That December, our choir and all the other singing groups in UP banded together for a concert called, “Handel’s Messiah.” With about 100 choir members, I sang onstage UP Theater. It was a very memorable moment for me.

                I wish I could join something like it again this year.

11. jog or bike at least once a week

                With my new running shoes, which I got on sale, I should have no excuse not to jog. As for the bike, I have yet to buy one. But for now, I will jog. In fact, today, I went to UP and jogged with Rhei and friends and had Mang Larry’s isaw after.

12. have my own column

                I’m thinking probably an advice column on life, career, relationships maybe, and even fashion in a national broadsheet or magazine. But I have to admit, this is a long shot, moonlighting. But as with my other goals, I am just putting it out  here for God and the universe to work it out. As before, I’m letting  God show me and lead me to get there.

13. attend a feast outside the country or hillsong concert in australia

                I just added this for no particular reason except that it’s something I haven’t done before so it’s probably fun. And the fact that, I'll have 13 goals.

                Feast is a weekly religious gathering where there’s a Catholic mass, and an inspiring talk by Bo Sanchez interspersed with praise and worship. Dubbed as the happiest place on earth where everybody is welcome, the Feast is organized by the Light of Jesus Family, founded by Bo Sanchez. There are different Feasts in and out of the country. Speakers depend on the venue. For details, check out any of the ff. websites:

www.bosanchez.com

www.lightfam.com