my rules on happiness

i remember reading a fwdd email with this message some ten years back. the truth is, i did not see the wisdom in it back then. it was an idea i didn't quite grasp. it said for students, do not wait till you graduate & get a job to be happy; for singles, till you get married (for married couples, till you get annulled? ;p); for childless couples, till you have a kid; for parents, till your kids get a job & settle down; for the employed, till you get a promotion. i guess you get the drift by now, happiness is a state of mind. it is not a reward you get by accomplishing something. it is not inherent in your goals. it is in you.

if we define happiness as an end result, it will always be beyond our reach. it will be fleeting. for a student, by the time s/he graduates, sure, he will be joyful. shortly thereafter, s/he will need to get a job. s/he will become worried and anxious, put happiness on hold till the next goal is achieved. whereas, if s/he recognizes happiness as his choice and could be his anytime, anywhere, and not tied to his accomplishments, then life will be as it should be, a bliss.
rules of wealth author, (whose name i forget as of writing because my copy is missing. whoever borrowed my book, pls. return asap ;p) explained it beautifully. he said why place our happiness in material things. i have to admit i have this dream of owning a bmw. of all the examples, he used a beemer to make a point. i’m attributing this to their mktg campaign “joy is bmw” and not a message directed to me.

anyhow, his point is that bmw’s, however expensive and beautiful they are, were not manufactured with joy or happiness infused in it. or for any material thing like shoes, bags, for that matter. people, like me included have this mindset that we will be happy when we covet these things. conditional.

but, let me clarify, i’ve gotten out of that thinking already. the new me is happy and is counting her blessings. that life is about giving and serving, that i can be happy with or without a beemer. though of course, it would always be better to have one. :p