awaiting fate

march 2012

3 weeks from now, the english dept. of stanford university will announce its new list of stegner fellows. i am so interested because i am one of the hopefuls. either way, i think will die of faint. if i make it, i'll die of joy. if i don't make it, i'll die of embarrassment. but between the 2, i prefer to meet death joyously.

this isn't new to me. 100 years ago, i took a qualifying exam in the university of the philippines for my college education.the passing rate is about 10-15%.and i made it. the chances for this stanford scholarship though is slimmer. what are my chances? i'm up against 1,900 writers around the world and stanford will only take in 10 scholars.how's that?!  

so today, i feel like i'm back in march 1991 a highschool senior awaiting my fate. will i make it? i wish it were april 2 already.