it was my first at the place, i didn't know what to expect. all i know was that there was a relic of the cross, the very same cross where Jesus was nailed to. in fact, when pat, of the light of jesus family was inviting us to join, i didn't sign up. sure, i wanted to go to a pilgrimage but i wanted to go to the real thing, holy land or rome. but then later, i thought, why not go to this one, as sort of "practice" for the big one. so, i enlisted myself.
fast forward to the monastery in the mountains. halfway to the top, we were greeted by an imposing all-white statue of jesus with arms open wide as if welcoming the pilgrims. we were told they are going to build a basilica, but to date, they only have a small chapel where the relic is housed. but despite that, we were not disappointed with the place. it was lovely actually, with the trees and landscaping and the wind rustling your hair. signs saying "god speaks to us in silence" is all over. however, not all is heeding the monastery's call for silence. once in a while, you will hear the chuckles and crackling sound of laughter from visiting pinoy pilgrims ;p
during the mass, people were quiet as if really trying to listen to God's message as exhorted by the priest. i loved the mass, it was not what i call an "express mass" that i'm used to in manila. from the procession, to the songs to almost every part of the mass, you can feel the reverence the father and the brother monks put into it. it was just lovely. i couldn't help but become teary-eyed. was it the heartwarming tagalog songs? it just felt great to be there. i saw the others wiping their tears away, some discreetly, some openly. somehow, people couldn't get their hands off their hankies, eyes, or noses. people were sniffing and coughing, if you know what i mean ;p
maybe that's the effect of attending mass up in the mountains. somehow your heart feels closer to God. you could really feel god's presence. you feel so happy you want to cry. i thought i'd invite my family to visit it this holy week. glad my mom said yes when i texted her later.
being pinoys, we had our picture taken with fr. archie suarez of the servants of the risen christ and founder of this monastery.
that was just the first part of our pilgrimage because after that, we listened to fr. john's talk on suffering and consolation as a cycle. heavy stuff on religion, my mind had a hard time comprehending ;p he later listened to our confession. what was supposed to be a serious matter, turned out to be comical.
we used the pantry as a confession room. when it was my turn, fr. john asked if he could go for toilet break. i went out and thought i'd crack a joke. i told the remaining group that my sins were so bad, fr. john couldn't take it and had to excuse himself to the loo.
when he got back, and i was about to start talking, a kitchen aide came in. manang in apron walked in oblivious of our presence. with her assistant, she started stacking cups and what-have-you's in her pail. with mouths agape, fr.john and i watched her fill up her pail with glassware one by one. i thought, man,this will take a while. i look at fr.john and i wanted to laugh, he looked as if he was about to say, seriously manang!
finally, after what seemed like eternity, fr.john, who seemed a patient man, lost his patience and with a scowl on his face, asked as calmly as he possibly could, "manang, para saan yan?" in my mind, i added, "because obviously, you are interrupting us. are you blind?!!" i thought, whatever inner peace i received during the mass was slowing fading away.
manang, without looking at the priest, continued collecting the numerous white cups, replied cooly that it was for some affair. ah!
"kelan po ang affair?" the priest asked, still maintaining a calm voice with tinge of irritation.
"sa lunes," manang answered.
wow! it was only saturday. i wanted to tear off my hair with my bare hands. a scene with vilma santos and nora aunor pulling each other's hair came to mind.
fr. john pleaded, "manang, puede mamaya mo na gawin yan? may confession kami." what did she think, we were dating?!!!
but she wouldn't budge, she looked at us and said, "sandali na lang ito." i couldn't stop rolling my eyes.
"manang!" and finally she gave in and said, "sige na, aalis na." ah! unbelievable! some character, haha!
anyway, after the confession, we lined up to see the relic. that's what we came here for after all. before we went inside the chapel, the relic was at the altar, pat told us to hurry it up cos it was getting late. i thought to myself, i'll start praying for my petitions while still on the line, so i don't spend so much time at the relic. when it was my turn, i kneeled down and placed both hands as i closely observed everyone did before me.
the relic was not exposed so as to preserve it. they said, the silver box containing it was only opened twice a year, jan and sept. so, it was actually the box that we saw and touched. but something extraordinary happened. when i placed my hands on the box and closed my eyes, i felt heat and energy coming from the relic. it was pulsating! as if the lid was collapsing and my hands were sliding slowly inside it. the relic was throbbing! and i felt my hands getting closer and closer to the relic. i thought, what's happening? for fear of breaking the precious box and causing a commotion, i opened my eyes a little to take a peek. it was all intact. and the pulsating stopped.
then i realized, though scary, what happened to me was still something wonderful. but my doubt and my fear stopped me from experiencing something greater, i guess. i wonder what would've happened if i kept still. i could've touched the relic, maybe. i wanted to share with the people in the van when we were on our way home. but i didn't know how, because i was still trying to understand what exactly happened to me. till now. so, what do you think?
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